Trinity Burning, X

Retribution 

I’m not supposed to be here, standing as SCW World Champion, yet here I am. Still holding this as high as I possibly can. Despite the pain coursing through my body, despite the fact that I know this war against the Beauty Factory is far from over. Sienna won’t stay away for long. She feels her entire existence coincides with the SCW World Championship. Chris will be back by her side, clinging to her every word, promoting her every action, as they do their best to undermine my abilities and my accomplishments, all while trying to portray her as the absolute best this company has to offer.

I hold this as high as possible, knowing that I will continue to have a target on my back. I know a certain pair of eyes are looking at that target, zoning in as her heart begins to beat a little harder, as she begins to foam at the mouth, with the wheels beginning to turn, as she contemplates her next move. I have no doubt that Bree Lancaster is going to come after me. I know she’s already plotting an attack on me. I know she will tell me something along the lines of I won’t see it coming.

And maybe I won’t, but it’s not like I haven’t been attacked from behind before. It’s not like I’ve been knocked down and hurt before. I have done nothing but take the fight to those who have opposed me since I returned in 2018. I know my actions have been questioned and that is all well and good. I’ve gone over why I’ve done what I’ve done. I am no saint, and I never will be. I like that. Knowing that and accepting that makes me real, something Bree is not.

If she were to hear my thoughts, she would do what she normally does, which is argue with a fucking brick wall to make her point, to do all she can to make me question myself, to make me try and go back on my words. But, I’m not going back on what I’ve said in the past. I’ve meant every single word I’ve said, no matter who it has been about.

Bree and I are no strangers to one another. We had our wars in the tag team division. Raynes may have been her weakest link, but that is on her for choosing him as her partner. He did one thing right. He did what Cannon really couldn’t when it came to protecting Sienna. Raynes kept Bree from me, sparing her from the Hell her best friend has experienced by my hand.

I know I could have hurt her last year when she stood toe to toe with Aries in the cage, the night I gifted her the SCW United States Championship. We stared at one another, and I didn’t sense fear. But I know she knows I could have taken her fucking head off with that chair. However, she was nothing more than a mere pawn at the time, in the game being played by Aries and I.

This time will be different, when our paths cross. She is petty and won’t let that chair shot she suffered earlier tonight slide. I welcome it. I hope she does indeed step up, proving me right. I hope she is as arrogant, or confident, as she typically is when she’s actually on the winning side. But when she steps up, I hope she realizes that in this war that I’ve started, I’ve been on the winning side, standing alone, just as I am now, with the SCW World Championship.

But until then, I will continue to do what I’ve been doing. Getting into the ring, ready to fight. Just as I did tonight. Just as I have done every single night I’ve stepped foot inside of a wrestling ring. I have to say that having this target on my back has turned me into some sort of animal. I feel the pressure, and I thrive for it. I want it. I need it. Just as anyone who steps before me, will say they need this title, they want this title. That’s fine. They are more than welcome to try, but they will leave disappointed.

__________________________________

Trinity Burning X

February 2020

Abel sat in the limo, his mind wandering as his eyes stared out the window, watching the world pass him by. There were no thoughts of whether or not he had made the right choice. To him, it was the only choice. He knew he couldn’t think about Braelynn. That was something James had done, when he first made the choice to go to Trinity. He wanted to get better, to clear his mind and to rid himself of Abel once and for all. Abel scoffed at that notion, as he remembered how things went in the grand scheme of things.

He recalled how he had argued with James, doing something he didn’t normally do, which was beg and plead. He begged James not to go to Trinity. There was something in the back of James’ mind that told Abel things were going to go badly. That was exactly what happened. Neither side of James, be it the man himself, or Abel, were the same upon their release. Abel recalled showing up at James’ house, trying to blend in with the man’s family and friends, trying to be him, trying to do what Dr. Williams had instructed him to do.

To be human.

The limo cruised through the open road, moving further and further away from the city. The buildings and skyscrapers of New York disappearing into the sky, getting swallowed up by surrounding trees, as if Mother Nature were welcoming Abel, hiding her true intentions in those lovely branches holding hints of life on the verge of making an appearance. Her true intentions to consume Abel, to bring him into a new world, to take him away from everything he had known. That was the Trinity Institute. He recalled McIntosh touting it as a true paradise, when it was an Earthly Hell, trying to take and take and take from its patients, until there was nothing left.

His attention was diverted as the driver lowered the glass separating them. “Are you alright, Mr. Evans?” He asked, giving a slight grin as he stared at Abel through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” The glass went back up, and Abel remembered how James had been taken by surprise when he made his way to the facility nearly a year ago. He had been under the impression that he was going to the Vaughn Institute. McIntosh did his best to reassure James, to give him comfort, when it was nothing but a bag of lies. Lies that Abel saw through. James did too, but by the time he did, it was too late.

He was trapped, and Abel wanted to return the favor. He wanted McIntosh to slip into a trap where there was no sign of escape. Even if he tried to turn and run the other way. That last thought reminded Abel of something else. It was his last conversation with Detective Bram Theron, before he dropped Abel off at the train station.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” The detective had asked, as Abel stepped outside of James’ second apartment. He hadn’t wanted Braelynn to see him leaving in the morning, so he didn’t stay in their guest bedroom, even though she had offered.

He shook his head, before getting into the car. Bram followed suit, as Abel replied. “You’ve asked me that way too much, man. I’ve said yes, and I’ve not shown signs of changing my mind. I’ve not even considered it.” He said, as Bram started the car and moved it onto the main road. “So, you got the go ahead. What did your Superior think?”

The detective kept his eyes on the road, not blinking as he appeared to be in some sort of trance, as silence filled the car. Abel asked his question once again. Bram snapped out said trance, glancing at him before replying. “I’ll be honest…” He cleared his throat. “He looked at me like I was fucking crazy, but I kept at him. It took some ass kissing, but it worked. He eventually felt it was a good idea and told me to get moving. That is why I called you last night.”

“Yeah, you came off excited. Somewhat nervous.” Abel said, recalling tips he had gotten from Dr. Williamson in deciphering emotions, through the words of others, as well as tone of voice. She had told him it would help him understand emotions, and why people act the way they do. That it was one of the many aspects of being human. “Were you nervous?” Bram shot him a look and a grin, as he shrugged his shoulders. Abel continued. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He said, with a heavy sigh. “Did he tell you how he wanted this done?”

“He said he wanted it done as by the book as possible, even if this is a little unorthodox.” Bram replied, his voice filled with that same excitability, and nervousness as the night before. Abel couldn’t help but think it was a little thicker this go around. “He wanted you to wear a wire, but I remembered how you said they took all your belongings and gave you your own clothes to wear.” Abel nodded, telling the detective he was correct, but Bram continued. “My Superior didn’t like that idea, but I told him I had another plan that I felt would work.”

“And your plan is what?” Abel asked, feeling slightly nervous as well. He didn’t want to end up stuck at Trinity. He didn’t want to be like James, feeling like there was no escape. He wanted to get in and out, just in time to watch Trinity burn.’

“We put a bug in your ear.”

“A bug?”

Bram nodded. “It’s a recording device. We make it clear, which would render it invisible to the eye. We let it run the entire time your there, and once something happens, we make our move.”

“How long do you think this will take?” Abel asked.

“I’d say a week.” The detective said as he brought the car to a stop, outside the train station. Abel felt a week was a terrible idea, because he remembered how everything went downhill after James’ first night in the facility. “Do you think you can survive that long?” Bram asked, his voice now filled with slight concern, which matched his eyes. Abel nodded, and he spoke once more. “So, I will ask you again. Are you sure you want to do this? I feel we’ve reached the point where there’s no turning back.”

Abel stared out, looking at the train station entrance. “I made the call to McIntosh last night as we got off the phone. He knows I’m coming. There’s a chance he is all giddy about the idea of me returning. There is the chance he’s suspicious as well. Either way, I’m not backing out. I’m not sure if my confession to you, if my words told the whole story, or painted you a full picture of how fucked up the man is, or his ideals.”

“I know enough, James. I’m with you until the end.” Bram replied, before silence fell between them. Abel eventually looked at his watch and the detective spoke. “Looks like you have a train to catch.”

Abel nodded before getting out of the car. He made his way toward the entrance with Bram yelling out to him before he disappeared inside. The detective wished him good luck, and he gave a nod, before entering, knowing he was going to need much more than luck to pull this off.

The memories came to an end as the drive did as well. Abel looked out and saw the Trinity Institute in all its haunted glory. He grinded his teeth as he quietly cursed the very foundation it stood upon. His door was opened, and hesitation ran through him for a few moments. He screamed at his brain, which screamed at his legs to move. His feet found the ground and Abel rose to his feet, continuing to curse Trinity with every fiber of his being. The driver shook his hand and wished him luck as well.

A heavy sigh escaped his lungs before Abel made his way toward the main entrance, only to stop in his tracks, as his eyes landed on him.

McIntosh.

The hesitation he felt quickly subsided, turning into pure anger, as memories began to flood his mind, remembering all the terrible things he had done to James before, and during, his initial stay.

“There’s my star.” The so-called good doctor said, a shit eating grin smeared all over his face. “How are you, James?”

Abel screamed at his brain, which screamed at his body to relinquish his anger, to make it seem like he was happy to be there. He gave a slight frown. “I’ve been better. But here I am.”

McIntosh nodded. “Let me be the first to say that I’m glad you’re back.”

“I appreciate it.” He looked at the building once again, letting out a sigh.

McIntosh slid his arm over his shoulders, as he spoke once again, before leading Abel toward the front door. “Welcome home, James. Welcome home.”

__________________________________

An Hour Later

New York City, New York

Braelynn Evans woke up. His side of the bed was empty. She let out a sigh, wishing she’d know when her husband was going to come back. She got up, checked herself out in the mirror. Her stomach continued to expand. She rubbed it, and she saw a smile appear on her face, like magic. The thought made her smile wider.

She went into the kitchen, making herself some breakfast, doing her best to ignore the thoughts running through her mind. Thoughts were more like memories of her and James cooking breakfast together. She’d made coffee, as well as bacon and eggs, while he made what he claimed to be world famous pancakes. Those memories would give her a reason to smile even more, but instead, she stood sad as she washed her breakfast bowl in the sink.

She took a shower, longing for her husband’s touch, as they always had fun in the shower, even though it proved to be a bit more difficult with her being pregnant. She got dressed, and suddenly stopped her movements as there was a knock at the front door. She stood still, and there was another knock. She checked her phone, and there were no calls from James or Abel. She brought her phone with her as she made her way toward the door. There were two more knocks, more violent than the first, which startled her.

She reached the door, and there was another knock, louder and more violent than the previous one, causing a sense of fear and dread to fill Braelynn. Instead of reaching for the door, she felt herself slowly backing away, as the knocking continued, only for the door to swing wide open. The hallway corridor was filled with men in black suits, their eyes hidden away from her. She tried to run, but was unable to escape, or create any sort of distance between them and herself.

Arms wrapped around hers, just as she felt hands grabbing at her hands and feet, before she was lifted off the ground. She looked up, unable to see the eyes of her assailants, as they carried her toward the front door. She was carried out into the street. People were walking by and she screamed, but it was as if no one could hear her, or they just didn’t care. She continued to scream and cry out, begging for help, before she was loaded into a black SUV. The men in suits climbed in with her, before they sped off through the city.

“Where are we going?” She asked, her eyes scanning around but she couldn’t see outside the vehicle. “Where are you taking me? Who the fuck are you people?” She growled, trying to sound tough despite the fear coursing through her body. She placed her hands on her stomach, as she got nothing but radio silence from those around her.

She told herself that it was going to be okay. That she had nothing to be worried about, but Braelynn knew she was lying to herself.

That became more apparent when the vehicle stopped, and the doors were opened. As one of her assailants stepped outside, she saw a sign, and felt a sickness rising within herself as she read what it said.

The Trinity Institute.

The living, breathing Hell that had taken her husband from her. Not just once, but twice. “Did James tell you to come for me?” She asked, as she was pulled from the backseat, and she still received nothing more than silence. “Someone answer me, please.” She began to plead, as they led her to the front entrance.

They stepped through the double doors, and she was brought to a stop at the receptionist desk. She stood by, becoming increasingly overwhelmed as the men in suits began to speak for her, giving out her personal information, information she wasn’t sure how they knew, and then, she was led down a white hallway corridor, as everything was illuminated by white, which distracted her from the faint screams she heard in the distance.

Braelynn found herself placed in a room. The men in suits disappeared and were replaced by nurses and orderlies. “What am I doing here?” She asked, no longer able to hide her fear. “Someone please fucking answer me!”

“There is no need to be frightened.” A nurse said.

“There isn’t?” Braelynn asked. “Are you out of your fucking mind? I was brought her for no goddamn reason…”

The nurse cut her off. “Oh, you see that is where you’re mistaken, my dear. You are here for a reason. Your being here is a joyous occasion.”

The dread pumped through Braelynn’s veins, as she felt her body begin to cower. A gown was brought into the room, as well as a table with stirrups. She looked at the nurse once again, as tears began to slowly slide down her face. “Why am I here?”

The nurse took the gown and held it up toward her for Braelynn to take. “Please get undressed and slide into this. We need to get moving.”

“No, answer me.”

“We really don’t have time for this.”

Braelynn cut her off. “ANSWER ME!!!”

The nurse looked at her, annoyed. She then turned and looked at the orderlies, giving a slight nod. The orderlies made their way toward Braelynn, grabbing at her. “No! Get off me! Stop! Get the fuck away from me! Get the fuck away!”

“You need to relax.” She heard the nurse state. “Otherwise you will upset the baby, and we don’t need him upset when he gets here.”

Braelynn grew still as she was placed down on the table. Her clothes were ripped from her, but she had lost her fight. She could only concentrate on what the nurse said. She didn’t want to upset the baby. “What does my baby have to do with this?” She asked, knowing the answer before it came.

The nurse grinned and rolled her eyes. “We want your baby, of course. Well, want is such a dry word. Need is more like it. Yes.” She nodded. “We need your baby.”

Braelynn began to scream and cry as loudly as possible. The nurses and orderlies grabbed at her, holding her down. The more pressure they put upon her, her screams and cries grew silent, until she could hear nothing.

And then, she woke up.

She was no longer at Trinity, but in her home. In her bed. His side was still empty and cold. All Braelynn wanted was for her husband to come back. She needed him now more than ever. Her body shook with fear and cold sweat, as the nightmare continued to linger in her mind for the first of her waking moments.

She told herself to breathe. To just breathe. In and out. In and out. Slow and steady. Slow and steady.

Braelynn reached over, grabbing her phone, and she called him. She knew it wouldn’t be her husband who answered, telling herself that it was the closest it seemed she could get at the moment, and that she would have to settle for it. The man walking around in her husband’s body had his touch, and possibly his caring heart.

That was all she felt she needed then.

The phone rang, and she heard his voice. Her husband’s voice. She smiled, as he sounded real. It made her long for him even more. Braelynn let out a sigh as she left a message. “Hey James…” She sighed and shook her head. “I mean, Abel. Sorry. I just had the worst fucking nightmare ever, and I really need to talk to you. I know James isn’t around, but if I could even talk to you, I’d like that. Yeah, I’d like that a lot, so please um…just call me back as soon as you can. Thanks.” She said, before ending the call, and wiping the small tears from her eyes.

She lost track of how often she checked her phone, with no call back. She told herself over and over that everything was okay, just as she did during her nightmare. She shuddered at how real everything felt, and it made her wonder what it had really been like for James when he was at Trinity.

“Stop it.” She told herself, as Braelynn closed her eyes. The very thought of Trinity made her skin crawl. She rubbed her stomach trying to calm herself. She checked her phone, and there was no call back, nor texts. She continued to run her hands over her stomach, her mind shifting from James and her nightmare, focusing on her child, as she repeated that everything was going to be okay.

__________________________________

The Trinity Institute

McIntosh watched from his office as the man he knew to be James went through the motions. Turning in his belongings. Filling out paperwork. He noticed how James took his time reviewing the forms before him. The Good Doctor couldn’t help but snicker at that, as he recalled telling James that due to the forms, he filled out for his first stay that he could keep James as a patient for a certain length of time.

Once James was signed in, McIntosh watched as he was led to his room. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” He heard a voice coming from his right. It was Ivy. She looked completely unimpressed. “I think its beyond weird that he’s here.”

McIntosh chuckled slightly. “You have always had trust issues, Ivy. That much is apparent. But trust me. James Evans being back at Trinity is for the best. That means we can move forward with what I’ve planned for his return.”

Ivy sighed, shaking her head. “So, I will ask again. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

He snickered once more. “Oh, Ye of little faith.” He turned, facing her head on. “I think it’s a very good idea. He needs to be here. This is where men like James Evans belong. It will all come to light soon enough. But, first.” He said with a sigh, as McIntosh returned his attention in the direction of James’ room. “I’d like him to get settled before we start the process.”

Ivy seemed to bite her tongue, but only for a few moments. “What if the process doesn’t work? It didn’t work the last time he was here.”

“I beg to differ.” He began. “The man that walked out of this facility was a voice in James’ head. He is named Abel. Abel left here, giving me exactly what I want.”

“And you wanted what exactly?”

He grinned. “The same that I wanted from you. I wanted his true self to be shown, to be given life. I believe you took to that much more than Abel did. If that is the case, then I need to pull him back out. To give him a sense of permanency.”

“So, you want Abel instead of James?”

He looked at Ivy, leaning close as he maintained his grin. “Precisely.”

With that, McIntosh walked out of his office and down the hallway corridor, before he found himself standing outside James’ room. He knocked on the door, and they locked eyes. “McIntosh.” James said, looking at him as wildly as he did when the Good Doctor greeted him outside the facility.

“Welcome back once again, James.” He said, stepping slowly into the room. “I am talking to James, right?”

Abel looked at McIntosh, wanted to tear into him even more than he did when they met outside the front doors. He cleared his throat, his brain screaming at him to calm down. “Yes, you are. Were you expecting Abel?”

McIntosh shrugged. “I mean I would be lying if I said that I’m not a little disappointed it’s not Abel.”

“And why is that?”

“Well, because of all the hard work I had committed to when you first arrived here nearly a year ago.” McIntosh began. “With you being James and not Abel, it is as if all that work has been undone. I don’t think that would sit well with anyone, no matter their position.”

Abel scoffed. “And what does that mean exactly?”

He stepped closer as he replied, keeping his eyes on James, wondering if he could provoke him in any way to bring Abel forth. McIntosh told himself to hold off on taking things to that level for the time being. “As I told you before, James. I wanted to bring out your true self, to expose you to your true nature. To give you the strength to not run from it, but to embrace it.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“I’m sure.” McIntosh said, glancing down for a few moments. “Well that brings me to my next question. What brought you back, James?”

Abel felt a little tense. The doctor was ever so close. Close enough to touch. To grab hold and wrap his hands around McIntosh’s throat. But he did nothing. He felt McIntosh already suspected it was him, and not James. While he was already growing tired of maintaining James’ humanity in the face of the Devil Himself, he calmed himself once more. “I saw your interview. I questioned why you were going public all of a sudden, or trying to expand to a global audience…” He sighed. “But then I listened to your words. I felt the truth in your message.” Abel lied. “And…” He let his voice break. “And I wanted to come back. I felt…I felt I needed to come back.”

“Well, as I said, I’m glad you did.” McIntosh said, stepping forward and reaching out, placing a hand on James’ shoulder. Abel tensed up once again but reminded himself of why he was there as the Good Doctor continued to speak. “But this time, we have to do the real work. You seem to be much more open than you were before.”

“I remember your process.” Abel said, trying to mask the gravel in his voice, but to no avail.

“I want things to be different than they were the last time you were, James. I don’t want to have to put you through such rigorous turmoil.”

Silence fell between them for a few moments. McIntosh glanced up, and their eyes locked once again. He was trying to study the man before him, wondering if James was telling the truth. Abel stared back, trying to get a read on the man before him. “Why do I get the feeling that there is more to all this then you’re telling me, Doc?” McIntosh simply grinned. Abel continued. “I will take it as I am correct in my assumption. Would you care to confirm or deny?”

McIntosh let out a soft chuckle. “You could be correct. You could not be. The only thing I’m going to confirm right now James is that I’m not going to tell you anything. Not right now. All will be answered in due time, my old friend.”

“Let’s get one thing perfectly clear.” Abel hissed, having had enough. “We are not friends.”

Another soft chuckle escaped the Good Doctor. “Are you sure you’re not Abel?” He asked, stepping even closer, to where they were practically nose to nose.

“I’m allowed to experience anger, just as I’m allowed to put it on display.” Abel said. “Am I not?”

“Of course, you are. But your levels of violence are so much more than I think even you realize. I’ve seen what you’ve done in the ring. I’ve caught glimpses of brilliant and glorious violence, your true self shining through. Which gives me hope.”

“Hope for what?” Abel asked.

“I’m referring to hope for the future, James. Your future. My future.”

“Now you’re talking in riddles, McIntosh.”

“And you have the ability to unravel the mystery, and to put the pieces back together.’ McIntosh nodded after silence fell between them once again. He walked toward the door as orderlies filed into the room. He looked at his patient. “Now, relax. It is time for your first injection. Its just like old times.”

The orderlies grabbed Abel. He wanted to fight, but he also knew McIntosh would expect it, so he did as he was asked. He was placed on his bed, an orderly holding each limb, with one holding his head still, while another brought a syringe closer and closer to his forehead. As the needle fell from his line of a sight, and Abel felt a slight pinch, he heard McIntosh speak one last time. “Enjoy your stay, James.”

__________________________________

Elsewhere

James Evans wandered through the grey. He wasn’t sure what path he was on, he just hoped it was the right one. He was ready to be back. To be home. With his wife. He needed sometime to clear his head, to cleanse himself of the ugly truth he discovered. The ugly truth his mind tried to cover up and bury for so long.

He continued to walk, trying to leave the truth behind. He needed to move forward. He did so, until the grey began to fade. He thought he was going to be home, away from the grey, being welcomed by the bright lights of New York City, but he wasn’t. He looked ahead, and he knew where he was almost instantly.

It was the place he once felt to be his safe haven when he was younger. It was never truly his home, but it was the closest he felt while growing up in the Hell designed by his parents. And even in the grey, his grandparents’ home felt warm and welcoming.

He walked up the drive, seeing the yard surrounding him on both sides. It was in those blades of grass where James learned of hard work, a concept he had lost sight of for a long time. He reached the top of the drive, seeing his grandparents’ vehicles under the car port, looking to be in mint condition as they always did.

He remembered all the truck rides he had taken with his grandfather, driving in silence, but happiness had filled him. He ran his hand over the side of the truck, appreciating how real it felt. And then, the front door swung open. “Hands off the merchandise, kid.” He looked up to find his grandpa Henry stepping under the car port, lighting up a cigar, as he normally did in the quiet of every evening. They looked at each other. Their smiles matched. “How are you, son?”

“Hey, Grandpa.” James said, as he stepped forward, hugging him with a second’s hesitation. Like the side of the truck, his grandfather felt real as well. He didn’t want the embrace to end.

“What brings you by?”

He held on just a little bit longer, before finally pulling away and taking a step or two back, so he could get the full view of his grandfather. An image he never wanted to lose again, and James tried to ignore the fact that it would end eventually. “I’m lost, Grandpa.” He looked down for a few moments, but his heart sank, telling him to look up, which he did. “I’m lost.”

His grandfather nodded, before taking a puff or two off his cigar. “I can see that.”

“I’m just trying to get back.” James said.

His grandfather nodded once again, before placing his attention on the cigar. “Do you remember how your grandmother always hated these things?” He asked, with a slight chuckle following his words.

“Yes.” James said, giving a chuckle of his own. “I remember she would cuss you up and down. But you never paid her any mind.” He stated, as they shared a laugh. It made James feel good, filling him with a happiness that he felt as a child.

“Well, truth be told. I didn’t like them, either. But they helped calm me down. And if you remember correctly, I only smoked them when your grandma was ragging me about something.”

“Now that you mention it…” James said, maintaining his grin.

“The thing is this, son. You’re running from your problems. Everything is up here.” He said, pointing to the middle of his grandson’s forehead. “Not here.” He said, pointing to James’ chest next. “You run from your problems because you don’t like to deal with them.”

“So, you ran from your issues with Grandma?”

His grandfather shook his head. “No. I stayed right there with her while she got out whatever it is she felt she needed to say. Once she was done, I’d come out here and light up a cigar. I’d take a seat and watch the cars drive by. I knew I had to go back in eventually. That I couldn’t stay outside forever. Just as I knew my wife, your grandmother, would have something to gripe at me about the next day. But that was our life.” He said, with a shrug. “I didn’t run from it, because I knew I’d miss out on so much.”

James let out a heavy sigh. “I always find myself in these situations. I always tell myself that I will find the strength after telling myself I’m not strong enough to deal with them alone.”

“Because you cling too much to the past, son. The past is the past. You don’t need it. It made you a good man, which is something you really need to give yourself credit for.”

“I don’t know how.” James replied.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the only one who can make the choice. You can either choose to never find out, or you can choose to get up and dust yourself off, before moving forward. Life is tough. When I found out all that happened to you and your siblings, even after Abel died, I hated myself for so long. But I got rid of that hate. I rid myself of it a lot sooner than later.” They locked eyes. “Want to know how I did it?”

“Yes.” He said, hoping his grandfather’s words would give him sort of push in the right direction, as James had grown more than tired with wandering aimlessly.

“Because I knew you and your siblings would turn out alright in the end.” James said nothing. He leaned into his grandfather, hugging him once again. “I hear you have a child on the way. Is that right?” James simply nodded, squeezing him a little tighter. “Then, you definitely have to get out of here.”

“How?” James managed to ask.

“By tearing this place down.”

James stepped back, looking around, seeing all the grey and everything in it. It was a place he had built. “The grey?”

His grandfather nodded. “You don’t need it.” He took another puff or two off his cigar. “That brings me back to my statement about making a choice. You don’t need any of this, son. Its just holding you back.” He sighed. “I think the only way you can really do that is to forgive not only yourself, but the ghosts you’ve kept trapped in your head. Forgive them. Say good to them. And then, move on.”

James nodded. “You’re right. It’s just finding it in myself to actually do it. That’s the issue.”

“All it takes is taking that first step.” His grandfather replied.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

His grandfather turned away and grabbed the doorknob to the front door, before pulling it open. “Right here.” James looked into the house, feeling its warmth. He locked eyes with his grandfather once again, as they nodded. James told him goodbye before stepping forward, trying to keep it together. He walked through the house, finding himself in the old room where he slept when he’d spend the night. And there, on the bed, he saw a teenage version of himself.

“Hello.” He said.

The teenager looked up. “You’re here.”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now follow me. We don’t have much time.” James watched as the teenager got up from the bed and stepped out of the room. James took a few deep breaths, before turning and following his lead.

__________________________________

Williams’ Mental Preservation Services

New York City, New York

“Hey, Katelyn. Its Brae.” Braelynn Evans said as she drove through the city of New York, trying to sound as calm as possible, trying to ignore the sharp pain rippling through her abdomen.

“How are you?”

Braelynn sighed heavily, knowing she couldn’t tell Katelyn that James had disappeared. That Abel was in his place. She remembered the horrific history between the three of them. “I’m fine. Just a little pregnant, and a little stressed.”

“Is everything okay?”

She sighed once more. “I’m sure it is. I’m calling because I wanted to know if you had heard from James at all in the last few days?”

“No sweetie, I haven’t.” Katelyn said. Her words were filled with attempted comfort. Braelynn appreciated it, as she recalled being nervous to meet Katelyn, wondering if there was going to be any sort of animosity between them.

“Well, I appreciate it Katelyn. Sorry to have bothered you.”

“No reason to apologize at all. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.” Katelyn replied.

Braelynn nodded, as she brought her vehicle into a parking space outside of the office owned by James’ therapist, Dr. Sheila Williamson. “If you do hear from him, just let me know. Or better yet, have him call, please.”

“I will. If you need anything else, you know with the baby, please don’t hesitate to call.”

“I will.” She said climbing out of the car.

“Take care.” The call ended and Braelynn began to make her way toward the office. The pain intensified as she walked up the stairs, and she told herself it was nothing more than growing pains, that the baby was merely getting bigger. She drew in a deep breath as she reached the top, and leaned against the side of the building, waiting for the pain to subside, even for a little bit. Once it passed, she stepped inside. She told the receptionist she needed to speak with Dr. Williamson. That it was about her husband. She took a seat, hoping to get some sort of good news.

The surprise on Dr. Williamson’s face when she stepped into the lobby told Braelynn that she wouldn’t. “Mrs. Evans?” She nodded and climbed to her feet as the doctor led her to her office. Once inside, they locked eyes. “Hello. I’m Dr. Williamson. What can I do for you?”

Braelynn took a seat and exhaled heavily. “As you know, I’m James Evans’ wife.” Dr. Williamson nodded and she continued. “Just as I’m sure you know that Abel has been in what they call the driver’s seat.’ She felt tears slowly beginning to build, and exhaled heavily once again, trying to keep her composure.

“Yes, I do.” Williamson replied. “Has something happened that I should be aware of?”

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “It’s just that I’ve not seen or talked with Abel in a few days. I’ve tried calling him, and I’ve gotten nothing. I’ve called people I know he’d talk to, and they’ve not heard from him either. I came here hoping that you had.”

Williamson closed her eyes and nodded, trying to stifle any worrying thought working to creep inside her mind. She sighed, as she looked up. “I have no doubt that James and Abel would appreciate the fact that you’re looking for them. They’ve not always been looked out for or held in high regard based on my understanding.” She sighed once more. “In saying that, I’m afraid I’ve not heard from James or Abel in a few weeks.”

Braelynn looked down, placing her face in her hands. She told herself everything was okay. She repeated this a few times, hoping to calm herself, and then she looked up. “Do you know of anyone who may know where he is?” Silence fell between them. Something told her that Dr. Williamson did. “Please, give me something. Anything. I’m fucking worried.”

“I know you are.”

“And in the state I’m in…being pregnant…I can’t handle this shit…”

Dr. Williamson climbed to her feet, pressing a hand on Braelynn’s shoulder as she knelt beside her chair. “You need to calm down, Mrs. Evans. Its best for you, but your child as well. You’re no good to James, Abel, or your baby in this condition.”

Braelynn sighed, taking little deep breaths, exhaling slowly as they locked eyes. She nodded, continuing to breathe in and out, slowly. “I know. I know. I just…I just don’t know what to do.”

“I do know someone.” Williamson said. “His name is Bram Theron. He’s a detective. He’s been working with Abel to bring down the Trinity Institute. I’m sure you’re well aware of that place.” Braelynn nodded, as Williamson continued. “I will call him and ask him to come to my office. Would you like anything to drink or eat, in the meantime? I have plenty of bottled water and snacks.”

“Yes.” Braelynn replied. “Water would be great.”

She was handed two bottled waters, as Williamson made the call. They sat in silence once the call ended. Braelynn didn’t know what to say or do other than wait. She felt the detective would have answers. She just hoped they were good. She could tell by the look on Williamson’s face, as well as the concern in her voice, that she hoped for the same.

Williamson received an office call, before leaving the room. She returned a few moments later, with a man she introduced as Theron. “This is Braelynn Evans. She is James’ wife.”

“How do you do?” The detective asked, shaking her head.

“I’ve seen better days.” Braelynn replied, trying to force a smile.

“So, what can I do for you? Dr. Williamson here stated you wished to speak with me.”

“I can’t reach my husband. I wanted to know if you knew anything.” They stared at one another, and she could see worry in his eyes. “You know something, don’t you?” He remained silent. Braelynn shook her head. “No, no. If you know something…you have to tell me.”

“Braelynn please remain calm.” Williamson chimed in.

“No, I need to know.” She looked at Bram. “What do you know?”

He sighed. “Ma’am, it’s probably best I don’t tell you.”

Before Braelynn knew it, she reacted. Her hand connected with the detective’s jaw. “You don’t get to decide that!”

Bram sighed once again, nodding this time. He asked her to have a seat, and she did. Braelynn listened as he told her everything, and the last bit of information hitting her like a bullet. “He decided to work with me as an informant. He’s…He’s in the Trinity Institute.” She looked at him, and Bram looked down and away. “Your husband admitted himself to the facility earlier this morning. He didn’t tell you because he knew you’d be worried, and that you’d talk him out of it. Seeing you in this condition, I’m sorry to have to break the news to you like this…but this is what your husband…”

Braelynn cut him off, glaring at him. “The man you sent to Trinity is not my husband!”

Bram looked at her, studying her, looking like he was trying to see if she was serious or not. He then looked at Dr. Williamson, who nodded and began to tell him about a voice in James’ head.

A man named Abel.

__________________________________

Manhattan

A Few Hours Later

Home was where Bram Theron ended up. He didn’t want to be in the office after leaving James, so he took a sick day. He stood in his bedroom, staring at the closet mirror, staring into his eyes. There was worry and weariness reigning supreme in them. It resonated richly over his face. He hadn’t shaved in months. He told himself that he probably thought the beard would cover up his worry, when in fact, it hadn’t. His career choice had torn him down, leaving him weak and vulnerable. The case against McIntosh and Trinity had stabbed the knife in his gut and twisted.

He had been bleeding out for some time now, and now Bram felt there wasn’t much life left in him. His face told many stories, and that was one of them. He began to remove his tie, remembering how it was the tie he had worn to his graduation from the academy. He remembered how proud he was that day, along with his family, especially his mother. He wore it on this day, hoping it would have made him feel better about the choice he had made, but that wasn’t the case. His mother couldn’t feel proud any longer. She was too sick thanks in part to something going on over in Chicago. It took all Bram had to keep it together.

He removed his shirt and stepped into the bathroom. He ran water over his face, but no matter how many times he splashed the water over the skin and patted it dry, the worry and weariness remained, like permanent tattoos. He broke out his shears and began to trim his beard, before finally shaving his face. He splashed his face once again, wondering if one could try to wash away their guilt. After patting his face dry, he felt he had his answer.

The guilt remained, mixing in with the worry and weariness, creating a cocktail that one simply could not drink without choking and clinging to life. He went to the kitchen, his steps heavy as he grabbed a glass and a bottle. He dropped a few ice cubes into the glass before topping it off with rum. He took a sip, knowing it was going to be the start of an alcohol fueled frenzy to drink his troubles away.

He knew his desire to bring McIntosh to justice paled in comparison to James’ vengeance, his quest for his own brand of justice. He took a few sips, screaming at his brain to allow James and any memory of Trinity to be drowned out by the rum. As well as the worry of what could, and probably would, happen when things came crashing down. Something told Bram that he’d find himself face to face with James Evans, and that he’d have to accept his fate, to let James purge himself as he sought revenge. That there would be nothing else left to do other than to feel the man’s wrath. Bram sighed, and took another sip.

“Goddamn you, Jeremy Murdock. You were supposed to be the one to help blow this whole thing up, to expose McIntosh to the world.” Bram said, his words barely growing louder than a whisper. “And yet, here we are. With my back against the ropes, I may have endangered the life of an innocent man. Hell…” He sighed. “He is a victim, just like you were.” Bram grinded his teeth together as he shook his head. “Why did you have to fucking kill yourself? Was eating a bullet worth it?” He blinked, and for a few moments, he saw Murdock sitting across from him, as Bram continued.

“You have no idea what you have done. Damn you! This could have moved forward. Things could be over a lot sooner. Fuck…” Bram released a heavy sigh, as he finished his drink. He grabbed the bottle and poured another. “Maybe it was better that you ate that bullet. As big as you are,” He continued, glaring at Murdock. “You’re pretty fucking weak. I mean, that is exactly what you proved to me.” He lowered his gaze and shook his head. He looked up and Murdock was gone. “You’re losing it, man. Fucking losing it.”

“You’re fucking losing it!” That was what his Superior shouted at him when he presented the idea of sending James into Trinity. Haskins normally sat in his desk chair calm, cool, and collected. But the idea caused him to lean forward, slamming his fist down on the desk.

Bram remembered shaking his head. “I’m not losing it, boss.” He cleared his throat, trying to remove any evidence of nervousness. “This is a good idea. This way we can have someone on the inside, to truly expose that place for how fucked it up truly is. And not to mention…we could catch McIntosh in the act.”

“You’re not hearing me, Bram.” Haskins replied, letting out a sigh as he ran a hand over his face.

The detective fired back. “With all due respect sir, I don’t think you’re hearing me.”

“I’m not sure I like your tone, son.”

Bram shook his head. “I’d like to ask you a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Why is it that every time I come to you with an idea, you always give me some sort of bullshit as to why we shouldn’t go down this route? I feel like you’ve undermined me every step of the way during this case.” He remembered saying as he did his best to maintain his composure, as he tried to cover up his clenched fists.

Haskins let out a sigh and shook his head. “I’m not trying to undermine you here, Bram. I feel you’ve gotten too involved in this case, and that you’re not thinking clearly. And this guy, James Evans…” His superior shrugged. “I don’t know about you, but it seems he is not only too involved in this case, but he’s clearly off his rocker. He probably wants far more than handcuffs to be placed around McIntosh’s wrists.”

Bram lowered his gaze, holding back on the avalanche of rage and venom that he wanted to spew at Haskins. The man who groomed him to be this great lead detective. The man who had given him everything since he joined the department. He sighed. “You’ve done a lot for me sir. And I have nothing but the utmost respect and appreciation for you because of it.” He looked up and they locked eyes. “But I really need this. I do. I need this.” He said, giving a slight nod.

Haskins looked back at him. He exhaled. “You say you need this but let me tell you this. No. You 

want this. You want this case, and you want to bring this guy in to help us out.”

“Want? Need? Either way, this should happen, because we could finally bring this prick down.” Bram said, hating how much it sounded like he was begging. “Please, just do this for me. Sir, that is all I ask.”

“And what you ask is a very tall order. There are a lot of elements to consider.”

“I don’t understand what elements there are, because this guy…James…is willing to go in and do this. He’s just waiting for the call.”

Haskins shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Bram. Let me think about it at least. Does that work for you?”

There was a pause between them, before Bram shook his head and replied. “In all honesty sir, no that doesn’t work for me. I’d like to have an answer, and I’d prefer to have it before I leave this office.”

His Superior sighed, and then Bram got his answer. As soon as he did, he couldn’t wait to get out of there. He reached his car and immediately called James, letting him know they had been given the green light. They agreed for James to call McIntosh, and to meet the following morning before James made his way toward Trinity.

He knew his worry and weariness were on full display as he met with James and drove through the city. He knew there was nothing he could do to hide it, no matter how hard he tried. He took another drink, finishing off his rum, screaming at his brain once again to allow the thoughts and memories be washed away.

He was brought out of his head at the sudden sound of a bell ringing. It was what he and his wife had given his mother to let them know she was in need. Whatever had a hold of her had taken much of her strength. In those moments, Bram felt like his mother. Devoid of everything, except for want and need. He told himself that despite her illness, she needed to wait, as Bram wanted to get drunk. He felt he needed it. The bell rang again, but he ignored it for the time being, as he entered the kitchen, his eyes on the bottle, telling himself that he wouldn’t stop until it resembled what he felt on the inside.

Empty.